Frontotemporal disorder

Apparently, I might have another 10 whole years of life. Perhaps longer, if I am lucky. A body with a hardening substance rattling in my skull.

I can’t imagine. I don’t want to imagine. Now, I stand in an open doorway, struggling for breath and unable to step through.

It is like in very cold or very hot days when I open the door to the house and hit the wall of heat or cold. An invisible barrier, but quite impassable. Halted by that which is not really there but effects me nevertheless. A wall of the atmosphere of that keeps me alive but I can no longer move through.

My brain hardening. No charges moving back and forth carrying information. Just plopped there getting harder and harder.

I wonder what it will feel like. I wonder if I will know. I do right now and it ain’t so grand.

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